I wasn’t expecting the question, but when my wife asked it this weekend, it rocked my world.
I had mentioned that an old friend from college who I’ve lost touch with is battling a very serious and often fatal health issue.
We talked about how unfair it is, how young he is, and all of the things you usually say when you hear terrible news like that.
After a long pause, she asked me, “If you found out that your time was much more limited than you thought it was, what would you do differently?”
It was a question I had never really considered. Many of my family members have lived long lives, and I’m blessed with good health.
The first thing I said was that I’d move closer to our son.
Then, I answered that I might start spending more.
Though I’m in good financial shape, I’ve been a saver since I was 8 years old and an investor since I was 22. Old habits are hard to break, but if I knew I only had a short amount of time left, it would be time to change that mentality.
I also added that I wouldn’t retire.
That may sound strange to many people, but I’ve been fortunate to love my job here at The Oxford Club for the past 19 years.
You’ve likely heard the expression, “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.”
That’s a load of bull. I work very hard. By the time the closing bell rings on Friday, I’m often wiped.
But I do love it. Investing and following the markets is challenging and stimulating. It’s like trying to solve a puzzle that constantly changes shape.
My job is also incredibly fulfilling.
Hearing from readers about how much I’ve alleviated their financial stress or how they’re going to send something I’ve written to their children or grandchildren is very meaningful.
So in the end, other than moving to a different state, I wouldn’t do much different.
Last week, I wrote about a friend’s mother who passed away at 107 and how her death got me thinking about money and whether I could afford to live that long.
Today, because of the news I received about my friend, I’m thinking about the opposite. What steps would someone need to take to ensure that if their time were up much sooner than expected, their wishes would be carried out?
Here are my suggestions.
1. You need a will.
A will is a must.
Probate is a pain in the rear, is expensive, and takes too long. And if there is a dispute, your assets could be tied up for years.
I have a friend whose parents didn’t have a will. He and his siblings have been battling over money, jewelry, collectibles, and junk.
It has been seven years since their mother died, and no one has received anything yet because they keep suing and countersuing each other.
If you can, be very clear who gets what. Money is easy to divide. Personal effects are harder. Spell out in clear terms who gets the engagement ring, the signed photo of Mickey Mantle, etc.
2. Get a health proxy and living will.
A health proxy is a legal document that allows someone else to make health decisions for you if you are unable to.
This isn’t something that’s just for old people or people facing serious illnesses.
We had both of our young adult children sign one so that if they’re in a situation where they can’t make a decision for themselves, someone they trust will.
A living will spells out specific steps you do and don’t want taken to preserve your life.
We’ve all heard horror stories of people who lingered too long because their family members were left to assume their wishes, leading to tension and huge financial costs for the family.
3. Take care of funeral arrangements now.
I’m guilty of avoiding this one − not because I’m afraid to face my own mortality, but because I just don’t know what I want.
Do I want to be buried where I live now? Would I rather be in the family plot where I grew up? Does that change if I move closer to my kids? I have to figure all these things out.
I’m fortunate that my parents set their funerals up decades ago.
When my dad died, my mom simply had to make one phone call to the funeral home, and everything was taken care of. My dad even sent me the eulogy he wanted me to read years earlier.
It made a tough time much easier.
Planning a funeral for a loved one can be very expensive and emotional. Doing it yourself ahead of time ensures your wishes will be followed and relieves your loved ones of having to make those choices when they’re already distressed.
Plan Ahead… You’ll Be Glad You Did
No one likes to think about the end.
But it’s important to do so if you want your family or heirs to be able to spend their time remembering you and supporting each other rather than trying to figure out what you wanted − or, worse, fighting over what they think you wanted.