The Truth About “Getting Lucky” (Cough) in Your Golden Years

Steve McDonald By Steve McDonald, Bond Strategist, The Oxford Club

Slap In The Face Award

Transcript:

Here’s a lighter, funnier slap going out to the boomers this week.

Ten thousand boomers are retiring every day – actually, it’s closer to 11,000, but who’s counting? And we haven’t exactly done a bang-up job preparing for it…

  • 54% of us rely almost exclusively on Social Security…
  • 45% have no retirement savings…
  • 30% have postponed or cancelled their retirement plans…
  • And 44% have heavy debt loads they’re carrying into their golden years.

Unless something drastic happens, retirement isn’t going to be a smooth ride for many of us.

So this week, let’s take a lighter look at retirement with some of the funniest quotes I’ve ever heard about the golden years.

First, if you and your teeth don’t sleep together anymore, there’s a good chance you’re retired.

If you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover that you aren’t wearing any, it could be retirement time.

If it takes two tries to get up from the couch, and your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio, you’re retired.

If getting “lucky” means you remember where you parked your car…

Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work…

If you sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there…

You wonder how you could be over the hill when you can’t remember being on top of it…

And you have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head…

Then you’re probably retired or very close to it.

Keep your chin up and your eyes on the horizon. We may not look or move the way we used to, but we still have a long road ahead of us. Keeping your sense of humor will make it a lot easier to navigate.

And, with that, remember: The money in retirement isn’t better than work, but the hours sure are.

Good investing,

Steve

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